What is Bullying?

Let's begin by saying "bullying" is a cowardly act committed by someone who preys on those who appear to be weak or socially awkward. Bullies don't usually pick on people they consider their equal, but on those that are considered loners, timid, insignificant, or unable to match the strength or wits of their aggressors. It is the bully's attempt to draw attention to himself, showing how much he or she is in control by constantly diminishing the value of another.

Bullying tactics come in many forms such as:  isolation, intimidation, teasing, cursing, demanding the surrender of personal items, practical jokes, racial slurs, spreading rumors, making threats, initiating physical attacks, and the list goes on and on.  Cyber-bullying, through the use of social media, has now joined the ranks, becoming a part of the mounting list of ways to oppress someone.

Profile of a Bully 

There are many reasons why a child may bully; however, bullies are not just limited to the tough guy types.  Popular and supposedly well rounded individuals from the wealthiest of families can also be bullies. In some cases, people bully because of jealousy, unsettled quarrels;  but bullying also breeds from social intolerances of someone else's physical or personality traits, their financial status, race, sexual preference, manner of dress or even intolerances of people with disabilities.    

Some students also bully as a result of deep emotional or behavioral problems or out of hurt due to personal or family issues. They may see bullying behavior at home between siblings and parents; or may have fallen prey to being bullied themselves.  Those who are bullied often practice that same behavior; their motive is to hurt - because they have been hurt.  Then there are kids that become labeled as "misfits", never quite good enough to fit in with any group. Regretfully,  "misfits" often find acceptance with gangs or groups, practicing negative and aggressive behavior.  

What To Do If Your Child is Being Bullied?

Children often will not reveal the fact that they are being bullied.  Perhaps its due to embarrassment; they are afraid of increased retaliation if the bully is exposed; or other times they may want to try handling the problem themselves. If your child is being bullied, but won't talk about it, there are certain signs that may give you a hint:  he or she is withdrawn; stays in room a lot; skips meals; cries, has bruises or torn clothing; missing money or personal items; avoids school; there's a drop in academic performance; not many friends, talks less than normal or experiences constant mood swings.

Here are a Few Tips that May Help:

• Get as many facts as possible of who the bully is.  Find out if your child knows why he or she is being bullied?  Where does it mostly happen?  What, if anything, has been done about it thus far?

• Ask if there were any witnesses; does he have any notes?

• Ask your child if the school is aware of the issue.  Find out if anything has been done to fix the issue.

• Make contact with the school and inform them of the situation.

• Ask the school about their policy and what steps they are taking.

• Allow the school to confront the student and contact the parents.

• Make a determination about the seriousness of the issue; Try to assist your child in any way that will not worsen the situation

• Determine If the school is taking the steps needed; if not, go the next level or to the school board for assistance.

• Assess whether or not a change of school or a more serious move is needed.